Day 4: Tupac

I'd have to say that I looked forward to ballet today just as much as I look forward to menopause. I feel so terrible. Maybe I have mono....you know, due to all those non-existent kisses from my many non-existent boyfriends. Whatever I have, I hardly feel up to make a complete idiot of myself on any day, let alone a day where my stomach acids are making volcanoes for the science fair.

This week at my dance school, you are supposed to wear a costume for dance class since Halloween is on Saturday. So I, being the bright, creative youngster that I am, put on the same leotard, and now that I think about it, my only leotard that I have and a bandana that I tied with the tails up at the front. Then I threw on some basketball shorts over my tights. I was Tupac. See, I thought it was funny, but I immediately regretted my decision to look like a gangster as I walked into the studio and saw everyone in these super cute tutu get-ups. Some of the tutus were checkered and multicolored, others were big and white and awesome, but at the end of the day, I was still Tupac...I should have gone with Notorious, what was I thinking.

Today, we basically did the same thing as we always do. I'm getting frustrated now, not because I can't do it, but because I'm not being challenged. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still can't do it, but I'm not learning how. They just go through the motions and I go through those same motions except 60% less graceful as them, and I'm not getting any feedback. For the love of dance, I know I'm bad, don't pretend like I'm not, tell me how to get better. The way I see it, if I am doing this for the sole purpose of getting better, because it certainly isn't for fun, then I don't want to be wasting my time.

We learned the rest of the Chinese Nutcracker today. It's pretty easy. We hold our pointer fingers up the whole time because, evidently, that's the universal sign for Chinese people....??? Who knew? My teacher has told us about 56 times that that's true, so, i guess, it is.
(My dad tells me that part was racist, sorry if you were offended.)

Next week is viewing week, which basically means that viewers, like people, like other people, get to watch me dance like a fool to the Chinese Nutcracker. I'm stoked. I'm going to practice this week. It needs to be video taped so that I can record my progress in this journey of ballet for my senior project. Oh dear....I'm overwhelmed and I'm sure you can tell by the short length and passive sentiment of my blog this week. I really wish that I could tell you that I'm still hopeful and I know that it will be worth it, but I am going to be real and honest and let you know that right now, I am in a period of doubt. Maybe tomorrow I'll be encouraged but now, I'm going to go get a brownie because this Biggest Loser episode that my parents are watching is making me hungry. Pray for me.

Love,
BalleBREna